Special Photo Collections
WaterSki Tumble
Footy Nude Run
Turn Inside Out
Rugby Pants Down
Swimming Birthday Suit
STREAKER
Soccer Streaker
Field Streak
Streaker Cartwheel
Take Off Streaker
HUNGRY
Hungry Mike Tyson
OUCH!!
It So Pain.
SPORTS JOKES
Intelligence Test
Eddie McGuire goes to Carlton for a meeting with John Elliott. After the meeting, John says to Eddie, "Well Eddie, I don't know what you think of your players at Victoria Park, but mine are all bright and brilliant."
"How do you know?" asks Eddie.
"Oh well, it's simple", says John. "They all have to take special tests before they can play here. Just watch this." He calls SOS over and asks him, "Tell me SOS, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Ah, that's simple John", says SOS, "it's me!"
"Well done SOS", says John, and Eddie is very impressed.
Eddie returns to Collingwood and wonders about the intelligence of the his team. He calls in Nathan Buckley and asks, "Nathan, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
Nathan thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Eddie, and I'll give you the answer tomorrow?"
"Of course," says Eddie, "you've got 24 hours."
Nathan goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his team-mates but no-one knows the answer. 20 hours later, Nathan is very worried - still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually Nathan says "I know, I'll ring Leigh Matthews, he's clever, he'll know the answer."
He calls Leigh. "Leigh," he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Very simple", says Leigh, "it's me!"
"Of course", says Nathan and rings Eddie.
"Eddie", says Nathan, "I've got the answer: it's Leigh Matthews". "No, you idiot", says Eddie, "it's Stephen Silvagni".
Soccer One liners
Q. What runs around a soccer field but doesn't move?
Q. Why is it so hot after a soccer game?
A: Because all the fans have gone home.
here is your wife?
There was this man who won a contest and got one free ticket to the Baseball World Series final. He was so happy, but when he got to the stadium and found his seat he was somewhat disappointed. His ticket was for the last row, and it was way up there. He couldn't see the game, so he began looking around.
Close to the field he saw an empty seat, so he decided to go down there. He reached the seat and asked the man next to the unoccupied seat if anyone was seating there.
The man replied, 'No.' So the guy sat down and struck up a conversation.
'Who would have a seat right next to the field and not come?!?'
The man answers, 'Oh, that was my wife's seat.'
'Where is she?' the guy replied.
'She died.'
'Oh, I'm sorry ... don't you have anyone else to come with you, a brother, or friend?'
'No, they couldn't come.'
'Why?'
'Because they are at her funeral.
Timing
George said to Fred, 'I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.',
'Wow! you must be loaded', said Fred.
'Not really' said George, 'the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.'
CRICKET JOKES
ndian Cricket Team
I have nothing agianst the Indian cricket team, and at the moment they are not playing too bad. I found these jokes on page posted by an Indian supporter!
One Liners
-
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings. -
Where do Indian batsmen perform the best?
In Advertisements. -
When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling. -
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion. -
How do you increase the chances of the Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on. -
What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls -
What is the height of optimism ?
Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
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Phone Call for Sehwag:
Indian Team Manager(over Phone) : "Hello"
Sehwag's Wife :"Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."
Indian Team Manager: "Sorry, he is just gone out to bat"
Sehwag's Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
--------------------
DIVORCE COURT SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mommy?
LG - No, my mommy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody!!!!
--------------------
SEHWAG's SON: Mummy mummy !! dekho papa six pe six mar rahe hain (Mummy mummy !! Look! Daddy is hitting six after six )
SEHWAG's WIFE: Beta theek se dekho, advertisement hoga ( Come on, son….that must be an advertisement)
Bad Player
The two rival cricketers were talking.
'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'
'Well, you're just the man for the job.Cricket Bad Light Joke
At the interval, everybody rushed to the bar, where local publican had thoughtfully provided a case of light ale.
Unfortunately, the ale was off and halfway through the second innings, everyone was so ill that they abandoned the match.
It was a case of bad light stopping play.There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.
"How did you get that?" they all asked.
"I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot a buck."
Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.
"How did you get that?" they all asked.
"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot an elephant."
Then the Red Raider came back all beat up.
"What happened?" they all asked.
"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I got hit by a train."
"I went to the gym and spent five minutes on the Stair Master," Moe said to Joe. "Then I went home and spent an hour on the Couch Master."
"I know what you mean," replied Joe. "These days, the only exercise I get is letting my imagination run wild."
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